Tag Archives: single people

Single Wanderers in the Grocery Desert

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shopperLately, I’ve started to pay more attention to my kin at the grocery store – those of us who wander in single-shopping mode, often perplexed by things like the overwhelming choices in the orange juice section. Pulp? Some Pulp? No Pulp with Calcium? Good Lord.

We don’t often make eye contact, we solo shoppers. We’re on a mission. In my case, it’s get it done and get out fast. But a recent mailing of $1 off coupons from Giant Eagle had me all over the damn store. I normally buy store brands, but w/ a buck off, I bought Kellogg’s Mini Wheats in Cinnamon Roll flavor. Seriously. But I’m digressing. (Hey, I saved nine bucks.)

There is a certain camaraderie between the singles when confronted w/couples who are not only arguing about some unresolved issue and taking it out on innocent produce, but also blocking any passage in their self-absorbed oblivion. I’ve caught many an eye-roll and exasperated sigh from fellow singletons when trying to negotiate around these folks. I’m fairly certain I recently had a silent communion w/ a guy as we said in our thought bubbles, “Thank God I don’t have to deal w/ that cra*anymore!”

We do peek in each other’s carts. I’ve learned to bite my tongue when about to comment on another single person’s items. Early on in fresh post-divorce mode, I talked to anyone and didn’t have much of a filter. I’d point out my 20 cans of Fancy Feast and case of wine and laugh while gazing at their head of lettuce, light bulb and cheese singles. It usually didn’t go over well.

I continue to chat w/ people in the wine department, advising them on a good red or nice Chenin Blanc. Most people like to talk about wine and some look petrified they’ll make a wrong choice, elevating a wine purchase to that of a new vehicle. So perhaps I offer them some comfort. I certainly enjoy myself.

Maybe we should have a secret handshake or club? Single People’s Grocery List Outpost #35. Come and share your grocery list and pet peeves. I’ll pour you a glass of wine.

Super Bowl, Party of One

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Vera JamsOh please, don’t think for one minute that headline is sad! That poor woman – alone on Super Bowl night… Seriously, since when is Super Bowl Sunday a romantic holiday for couples? I suppose maybe it could be if your idea of date night is crap beer and some sad nachos. If so, you might want to set the bar higher.

 

(This is a pic of the fab Vera Wang jams I wore to my own Super Bowl party. What can I say, I have innate style.)

I really didn’t mind watching the Super Bowl alone. Didn’t have to clean my house, make food for anyone, worry about people having enough to drink or too much (or drinking all my GOOD beer). These events are especially easy without “He Who No Longer Inhabits” who felt the need to reinvent chicken wings or foof up some simple appetizer. Very tiring. Not a chance. The pup got a couple extra Milk-Bones and I had a plate of Trader Joe’s frozen shrimp pot stickers w/ their bottled goyza sauce. (Highly recommend!)

Since it seems I’ve gotten away from listing GROCERY LISTS on here, I’ll share a combo of two I’ve carried around lately. A two-week work project left zero shopping time so I didn’t get to any stores until last Fri. Then I forgot to buy most things on the list except wine, of course.

Here’s the list:

  • Drain cleaner – My puppy, Shedding Sister, has the potential to clog every drain pipe in my county. This pup never shed until about 3 weeks ago and then it was insane. Fortunately, it seems to have slowed down a bit.
  • 3-way light bulbs – Is it just me or do you blow out one setting on a 3-way bulb all the time? I use the 50 watt and 100 watt settings on different lamps. I’ve had this item on a list for 2 months
  • Wine – Although my normal cold weather choice is red, I also buy whites. I just don’t want wimpy whites that I might drink in the summer. Finding interesting, full-bodied, affordable whites is tough.
  • Frozen – That’s my shorthand for “lazy-ass food” I buy so when I’m working 10/11- hour days, I just heat the oven or throw in micro.
  • Creamer – Again with the “fat-free” half and half – such a concept!

So, did you notice there’s really nothing to eat on that list except for the frozen category? That’s right. It’s why I call this “single people’s grocery lists.”

Cheers.

Holiday Hogs

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hamWhen there are just two people getting together (the Mother Unit and I) for a holiday, buying festive food should be simpler. Not really. I made hopefully the last foray into shopping land today for a few food items. I decided to get a ham. Ham doesn’t rock my world, but I like making bean soup w/ the ham bone. You have to go through a lot of ham to get to that bone. She Of The Slight Frame will have to take home many lbs. of ham.

Looking at the half-hams, the smallest I could find was 8.8 lbs. How big are these hogs, anyway? That’s one big butt. OK, so I don’t know exactly where the ham is on the hog, but I try to disconnect from that aspect as long as I’m still a carnivore.

Holiday Items

Today, this is what I bought. Not strictly a single people list since I’m having company, but it reads like one.

  • Two nice bottles of white wine – An Albarino and a Torrentes, a bit above my usual $10 limit, but hey, it’s a holiday. I had some Prosecco from Trader Joe’s, but wanted some “regular” white.  (If you think you have to buy $$ Champagne or that dreadful other fizzy crap, try a Prosecco. Usually cheaper, but w/ the bubbly thing, it’s a fun Italian sparkling wine. You have to trust me on these things.)
  • Bailey’s Creme Brule Coffee Creamer – Coffee snob that I am, I don’t usually go for frou-frou, sweet coffee “enhancers.” But I had a coupon and also thought it would be good in the Kaluha knock-off I bought last week.
  • Pears – Needed those for the decorative holiday fruit collage I have going.
  • Milk-Bones – The pup might get a more fancy treat for Xmas, but these are a necessity.
  • A Brie-like product – The first time I’ve bought Brie since Bokhara, my cat, died. He loved the stuff. Again, a coupon and the Mother might enjoy.
  • Jeni’s Brown Butter Almond Brittle Ice Cream – Dear God, can you imagine? Can’t wait to try it.
  • More stuff I can’t recall or it’s too boring to list – This all added up to $103, which was surprising.

No Baking

I normally bake at least a few things at holidays. Not in the mood or no energy or both this year. But check out that ice cream above. And there’s wine…and ham…

50 lbs. of Dog Food, Beer and Soda – The Essentials

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I think we need to mix it up a bit here at SPGL. After all, how many times do you want to read the words “cookie butter” and “wine” on my blog? Today, I have a guest blog from pal and fellow writer Thelma Michael. She obviously understands the intricacies of single-hood shopping and shares her astute observations below.

I am purposefully single.  That’s right boys and girls – it is a choice.  No, I’m not Hunchback of Notre Dame’s twin sister making this statement because I haven’t been asked out on a date in the last decade – I’m single because I refuse to be with an idiot.

There are a lot of idiots out there.  Which makes me wonder when we can pass an ordinance that there must be a stupidity test before one can procreate – but that is a whole different line of thought.

I am also a big people-watcher and the grocery store is chock full of entertainment for me.  Not just the people, but their carts!  Holy mother of god can you learn a lot from someone by their shopping cart.

But those observations can also bite me in the butt.  To come clean I have no butt because too many things have come back and bit me in the butt.  I really hope karma doesn’t start coming after the boobs next because I don’t have that much and if it takes those I will be left with the body of a pre-pubescent 12-year-old boy.   But that’s another story.

So I am a cart observer – I like to look in other people’s grocery carts.  I can pick out the single dad, the husband who was sent with a specific list and fellow single people. Like the angry gal who just broke up with her boyfriend. She’s easy to spot – two dozen cartons of Ben and Jerry’s, five bottles of wine and the super saver pack of Kleenex are dead give aways. Then there’s the frat boy living in a grown man’s body single-handedly keeping Frito-Lay in business, as well as the local brewery.

I recently went to the grocery store to pick up a few things, enjoyed my people/cart watching then ran a couple more errands before I went home. It was after one of these errands that I stunned my fellow patrons in the parking lot by literally laughing out loud once I reached my car.

I glanced in the backseat and all I saw was a fifty pound bag of dog food, a case of beer and two cases of soda pop! If it had been someone else I would have designated them the lonely dog person.  I swear I could hear my grandmother in my ear, “See what happens when you make assumptions about others…” Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I am a dog person.  After years of singleness on and off,  I much prefer the company of my dogs.  Don’t get me wrong, I love men – they are such simple creatures.  But my tolerance for them and their crap is pretty low whereas my dogs at least crap in my yard, not in my psyche.

Dogs don’t have to figure out who they are – they are a dog.  They don’t have a pendulum that swings from wanting to be in a monogamous relationship to wanting to hump everything in the neighborhood.   They don’t play hot and cold, they don’t care if you get fat or put green goop on your face to get rid of age spots.

And you normally only have to train a dog once, as with a man it is a continual process.  So yes, I am the crazy dog lady with the big bag of dog food so I make sure my dogs are always taken care of. And me? I get the soda pop to get me through the day and the beer for a toast to me at the end of the day.

Don’t judge me.

Thanks, Thelma. As soon as she stows that bag of dog food away, she’ll have time to launch her new blog and we’ll do linkies. It’s what cool, single chicks do.

Half a Loaf Shy of a Load…

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As I toss yet another stale 6-7 slices of bread from a loaf, I wonder why there aren’t half-loaves for sale in grocery stores? Of course it screams, “I’m a single person and I only need 4-5 slices,” but who cares? I really hate to waste food. And before you tell me that I should throw it out for the wildlife, you should know that I live in an area where the size of said wildlife can be considerably bigger than the average birdie.

Coffee Shop Cool

Today, I decided to dress like a grown-up working person and take my laptop to a local coffee shop and work. Yes, that’s not a new thing, but it is to me. I’m Mocha!late to the laptop-toting, mocha-latte sipping crowd. But as I get squirrely-er heading into Feb., I realize I need to get out more – out “amongst them” as the Amish say. It was a nice change except for the guy who had to blather on about his politics to the shop owner. I would have much preferred the ’80s rock. But it’s a risk you take when you leave your house.

Stopped at the store while out:

  • cat food
  • raspberries, blackberries and grapes
  • peppered turkey (yeah, I’m in a rut w/ this stuff)
  • three-cheese semolina bread (I will freeze half of it!)
  • bottled water – I have a $3,000 water softener (came w/ the house), so I have no excuse for not putting my water in a bottle. But in a power outage, I’m not getting anything from the well. Been there, done that.

Well, in the hopes that we get more interactive on here, tell me how your winter is going. Confess all that fat and sugar-laden junk you’re eating. As usual, I won’t tell anyone…

New Year-New Weird Cr– To Do with Food

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Quelles Horrors (you see my H.S. French fails me)!  I haven’t posted for over a month! Some bloggers go to jail for less. Well, I’ll try to post more often, maybe three times a week. That was NOT a New Year’s resolution, btw. That’s for suckers.

What’s New?

  • Gidgets! (Gadgets marries Widgets) – I want to add a widget for you all to post your incredibly funny, interesting and weird single people grocery lists. Figuring it out will give me an excuse to get my techie on and get some buzz going for this blog. You promise to post yours, right?
  • Recipes – No, not like Food TV. I’m talking about sharing your secret shameful food combinations w/ us. You know what I’m talking about – crap you put together to empty the fridge before serious decomp occurs, when you have no real food in the house or you’re just too lazy to pull up a recipe online. I may add a widget for you to share your creepy food combos.
  • More types of single adventures – I do NOT mean all the psychopaths you met on “Match me with someone I wouldn’t give my zip code to.com.” That stuff is for other single-related blogs.

So, I’ll start us off w/ a food creation I did recently and surprisingly actually consumed, kind of…

I combined elbow macaroni w/ the following:

  • Leftover kalamata aoli dip from Nordstrom’s Bistro. They serve this w/ with their amazing fries.
  • Leftover verde sauce I made for shrimp
  • Roasted cherry tomatoes and garlic in olive oil
  • Feta cheese
  • Some torn basil leaves
  • Mayo

Although the first two bites were good, there was too much going on. The sauces kind of fought w/ each other. I ate most of it, feeling virtuous about using up all that stuff.

Grocery Withdrawal

I’m trying to put off a grocery store run as the financial status is a bit dim. I’ll have to get cat food soon (although he likes garlic and cheese, I don’t want to think about what that will do to his gastrointestinal situation) and I’ll need to make a wine run. Those, as you know, are staples in my house. More on staples in the next entry…