Tag Archives: singles

Super Bowl, Party of One

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Vera JamsOh please, don’t think for one minute that headline is sad! That poor woman – alone on Super Bowl night… Seriously, since when is Super Bowl Sunday a romantic holiday for couples? I suppose maybe it could be if your idea of date night is crap beer and some sad nachos. If so, you might want to set the bar higher.

 

(This is a pic of the fab Vera Wang jams I wore to my own Super Bowl party. What can I say, I have innate style.)

I really didn’t mind watching the Super Bowl alone. Didn’t have to clean my house, make food for anyone, worry about people having enough to drink or too much (or drinking all my GOOD beer). These events are especially easy without “He Who No Longer Inhabits” who felt the need to reinvent chicken wings or foof up some simple appetizer. Very tiring. Not a chance. The pup got a couple extra Milk-Bones and I had a plate of Trader Joe’s frozen shrimp pot stickers w/ their bottled goyza sauce. (Highly recommend!)

Since it seems I’ve gotten away from listing GROCERY LISTS on here, I’ll share a combo of two I’ve carried around lately. A two-week work project left zero shopping time so I didn’t get to any stores until last Fri. Then I forgot to buy most things on the list except wine, of course.

Here’s the list:

  • Drain cleaner – My puppy, Shedding Sister, has the potential to clog every drain pipe in my county. This pup never shed until about 3 weeks ago and then it was insane. Fortunately, it seems to have slowed down a bit.
  • 3-way light bulbs – Is it just me or do you blow out one setting on a 3-way bulb all the time? I use the 50 watt and 100 watt settings on different lamps. I’ve had this item on a list for 2 months
  • Wine – Although my normal cold weather choice is red, I also buy whites. I just don’t want wimpy whites that I might drink in the summer. Finding interesting, full-bodied, affordable whites is tough.
  • Frozen – That’s my shorthand for “lazy-ass food” I buy so when I’m working 10/11- hour days, I just heat the oven or throw in micro.
  • Creamer – Again with the “fat-free” half and half – such a concept!

So, did you notice there’s really nothing to eat on that list except for the frozen category? That’s right. It’s why I call this “single people’s grocery lists.”

Cheers.

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The Heat…Burgers…Beer

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Now I know why people in the South and hellish desert climates like AZ get annoyed w/ those of us in milder climes when we complain about the heat after a couple days in the 90s. But after days of 100-ish temps, I can say w/o fear of offending my Louisiana and Phoenix pals that it’s f@#%&* HOT!

Tonight, though, I actually sat on my front porch and didn’t feel like my brain was bubbling. I’d still be out there if the biting flies would leave me alone. These are different from the other country varieties I have – the dive-bombing, giant horseflies or the irritating fly-into-your face or land-in-your-wine flies. But at least I’d be outside if it was fly-less territory. I have AC/doors and windows shut cabin fever.

Post Power Outage Grocery Trip

After being powerless for a couple days and then regaining power, I thought it might be safe to buy a few food items. Although I worked over the holiday, I bought some fun stuff to eat.

  • Angus ground chuck to cook out – I’ve mentioned my brilliant charcoal grilling techniques before, but these were the best ever. Topped w/ NY cheddar and sweet onion.
  • Great Lakes Edmund Fitzgerald Porter – I like porters and stouts if I’m going to drink beer. This one is not bad.
  • Shallots – For a pasta salad recipe I’ll tell you about next time.
  • Maple frosted cookies – From the faux Amish place. They’re getting stingy w/ the frosting, so for $4.59, I may have to pass next time. It’s not worth the fat/calorie binge-let.
  • Hebrew National hot dogs – I didn’t buy these to do the typical 4th thing. I always buy them when I’m in the mood for hot dogs. I think they’re the best and maybe the snout/tail quotient is lower since they’re Kosher. I hope.
  • Strawberries, raspberries and arugula – For the other parts of the food pyramid.

As I read over that list, it’s pretty pedestrian. I’m going to try harder for it to be ironic, snarky, weird or more single-like. There,Single People's Grocery Lists people, I have a goal!

50 lbs. of Dog Food, Beer and Soda – The Essentials

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I think we need to mix it up a bit here at SPGL. After all, how many times do you want to read the words “cookie butter” and “wine” on my blog? Today, I have a guest blog from pal and fellow writer Thelma Michael. She obviously understands the intricacies of single-hood shopping and shares her astute observations below.

I am purposefully single.  That’s right boys and girls – it is a choice.  No, I’m not Hunchback of Notre Dame’s twin sister making this statement because I haven’t been asked out on a date in the last decade – I’m single because I refuse to be with an idiot.

There are a lot of idiots out there.  Which makes me wonder when we can pass an ordinance that there must be a stupidity test before one can procreate – but that is a whole different line of thought.

I am also a big people-watcher and the grocery store is chock full of entertainment for me.  Not just the people, but their carts!  Holy mother of god can you learn a lot from someone by their shopping cart.

But those observations can also bite me in the butt.  To come clean I have no butt because too many things have come back and bit me in the butt.  I really hope karma doesn’t start coming after the boobs next because I don’t have that much and if it takes those I will be left with the body of a pre-pubescent 12-year-old boy.   But that’s another story.

So I am a cart observer – I like to look in other people’s grocery carts.  I can pick out the single dad, the husband who was sent with a specific list and fellow single people. Like the angry gal who just broke up with her boyfriend. She’s easy to spot – two dozen cartons of Ben and Jerry’s, five bottles of wine and the super saver pack of Kleenex are dead give aways. Then there’s the frat boy living in a grown man’s body single-handedly keeping Frito-Lay in business, as well as the local brewery.

I recently went to the grocery store to pick up a few things, enjoyed my people/cart watching then ran a couple more errands before I went home. It was after one of these errands that I stunned my fellow patrons in the parking lot by literally laughing out loud once I reached my car.

I glanced in the backseat and all I saw was a fifty pound bag of dog food, a case of beer and two cases of soda pop! If it had been someone else I would have designated them the lonely dog person.  I swear I could hear my grandmother in my ear, “See what happens when you make assumptions about others…” Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I am a dog person.  After years of singleness on and off,  I much prefer the company of my dogs.  Don’t get me wrong, I love men – they are such simple creatures.  But my tolerance for them and their crap is pretty low whereas my dogs at least crap in my yard, not in my psyche.

Dogs don’t have to figure out who they are – they are a dog.  They don’t have a pendulum that swings from wanting to be in a monogamous relationship to wanting to hump everything in the neighborhood.   They don’t play hot and cold, they don’t care if you get fat or put green goop on your face to get rid of age spots.

And you normally only have to train a dog once, as with a man it is a continual process.  So yes, I am the crazy dog lady with the big bag of dog food so I make sure my dogs are always taken care of. And me? I get the soda pop to get me through the day and the beer for a toast to me at the end of the day.

Don’t judge me.

Thanks, Thelma. As soon as she stows that bag of dog food away, she’ll have time to launch her new blog and we’ll do linkies. It’s what cool, single chicks do.

Let’s Write Off March 2012

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I’ve missed a month and a half of posting on here. Let’s just say March was a bad one in the Hall of Fame of bad ones. Although this blog’s topics relate to single people’s grocery shopping habits, food, wine and the newly-single “adventure,” I’m going to head OT on this one.

In the earlier part of March, one of my best friends was diagnosed with a life-threatening disease. This is a friend (her hubs, too) of close to 30 years. I still can’t get my head around this new information, but I’m refusing to allow any negative thoughts to come into my brain about outcomes. She’s the best and she’ll be okay. That’s what I’m going with.

My other best friend and soul mate, Bokhara, who I’ve talked about often on here, had a routine exam earlier in the month which led to some testing with a somewhat favorable outcome. But on March 19th after a run of very good days, he had to be put to sleep. He was tired and it was time. I’m so grateful I had him in my life for 16 1/2 years. He was a gift.

Needless to say, a trip down the cat food aisle at the grocery store made my heart gasp. And because Brie and wild salmon were his faves, it’ll be a while before I can eat those again.

So readers, please hold good thoughts and prayers for my two friends that they have peace, light and comfort on their roads ahead.

New Year-New Weird Cr– To Do with Food

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Quelles Horrors (you see my H.S. French fails me)!  I haven’t posted for over a month! Some bloggers go to jail for less. Well, I’ll try to post more often, maybe three times a week. That was NOT a New Year’s resolution, btw. That’s for suckers.

What’s New?

  • Gidgets! (Gadgets marries Widgets) – I want to add a widget for you all to post your incredibly funny, interesting and weird single people grocery lists. Figuring it out will give me an excuse to get my techie on and get some buzz going for this blog. You promise to post yours, right?
  • Recipes – No, not like Food TV. I’m talking about sharing your secret shameful food combinations w/ us. You know what I’m talking about – crap you put together to empty the fridge before serious decomp occurs, when you have no real food in the house or you’re just too lazy to pull up a recipe online. I may add a widget for you to share your creepy food combos.
  • More types of single adventures – I do NOT mean all the psychopaths you met on “Match me with someone I wouldn’t give my zip code to.com.” That stuff is for other single-related blogs.

So, I’ll start us off w/ a food creation I did recently and surprisingly actually consumed, kind of…

I combined elbow macaroni w/ the following:

  • Leftover kalamata aoli dip from Nordstrom’s Bistro. They serve this w/ with their amazing fries.
  • Leftover verde sauce I made for shrimp
  • Roasted cherry tomatoes and garlic in olive oil
  • Feta cheese
  • Some torn basil leaves
  • Mayo

Although the first two bites were good, there was too much going on. The sauces kind of fought w/ each other. I ate most of it, feeling virtuous about using up all that stuff.

Grocery Withdrawal

I’m trying to put off a grocery store run as the financial status is a bit dim. I’ll have to get cat food soon (although he likes garlic and cheese, I don’t want to think about what that will do to his gastrointestinal situation) and I’ll need to make a wine run. Those, as you know, are staples in my house. More on staples in the next entry…

Soft-Top Lemon Cookies are Fruit, Right?

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It’s turning cooler here and that means the body wants what it wants – carbs, fat and sugar. So I purchased some off-the-list items yesterday. I really only needed cat food and bread, but…

  • Soft-top lemon cookies – We might as well call these “forget about having a waistline” cookies. But the sell-by date was good. How could I say no?
  • Cat food – At this grocery, they carry the Aristocrats brand. Yes, Disney makes cat food. He likes the liver one.
  • Cheez-Its – Do you always have to stop and think about how to spell it? Maybe it’s a writer thing. I got the new Baby Swiss flavor. Honestly, white cheddar, Parmesan and this one taste exactly the same. Let’s face it, we’re all just going for the faux cheesy goodness of that dust that comes off them.
  • Bread – I like those new take ‘n bake loaves. I can pretend like it’s fresher than the bagged stuff.
  • Raspberries – Grab these suckers while you still can. Next week, at least in this area, they will shoot up to $10.99 a half pint. These were 10/$10.00. Okay, does that seem like more of a bargain than $1.00 a package? Dumbest pricing strategy ever.

Please come and post your lists, Singles. Many of you have shown me yours saying that you’re secretly ashamed at how boring they are. Does the above look exciting? I’ll change your names if you like.

I don’t want to spoil your appetite, but I’ll end on a cheery thought:

You may have had a bad day, but at least you didn’t have to give your cat an enema.

Cheers.

 

Kitteh and I Work On Our Fine Lines…

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As I mentioned earlier this week, I’m trying not to spend money. Estimated quarterly taxes and winter propane pre-pay due. So, tuna and peanut butter are looking pretty tasty.

But, alas I needed a few things at the grocery and gas and you know if you spend that $50, you get those .20/gal. fuel points. So, here’s today’s list:

  • Eye-Lifting Serum – Now I know this won’t actually lift my lids from their half-mast position, but what the hell, I’ll give it a go. Although Kitty is 16, his eyelids look great, plus I would NEVER put cosmetics on a cat. Well, unless Chanel comes out w/ a line of kitty “looks”…
  • Jeni’s Salty Caramel ice cream – Yes, it IS worth $9.99 a pint. And remember I need those fuel points.
  • A red pepper – I usually roast them for various uses. Put them on a pizza.
  • Fancy-schmancy new cat food – The little man deserves a cat equivalent of Jeni’s.
  • A nice fancy-schmancy new red wine for Cat-mom – Hey, it’s been a long week. It’s a Tempranillo from Spain and it was over my usual $10 limit – $10.99.
  • Two organic dark chocolate bars – One is dark chocolate w/ sea salt, the other I just grabbed – it had a cool label.
  • Diet cola – In a kind universe, this would balance out the Jeni’s and chocolate above.

Again, I have to say that $90 for the above is kinda scary, especially since there are no real meal options for me. The cat is covered.

Speaking again of the kitty, here’s his Internet debut. My talented niece took the photo: Help Kitty Settle Into His New Home  Yeah, I actually write other stuff that pays the bills. Check it out. It’s called “social media marketing” and it’s a good thing. Trust me.

Have a great weekend! Send me your lists, Singles. I need fodder. I’m boring myself w/ my own stuff. Post in a comment on the “Lists” page.