Black Bean Burgers and Weirdness at the Mall

Sunday, I went to a local mall w/ friends to see a movie. The one we wanted to see was sold out (the freaky Snow White one w/ Charlize Theron, who I think is way cool). So, since the other choices seemed lame (Tom Cruise as an Axl Rose wannabe? Yikes!), we headed to a fave restaurant for black bean burgers.

As you know from reading SPGL, I’m not a vegetarian, but I crave these veg. burgers like I do a cheeseburger which means when it pops into my head, I’m going to have to get one. My one friend had never had this item, so we were glad to make the introduction. After ordering and sitting down, we decided that because we missed our movie, we should have a bottle of wine. I don’t normally drink in the middle of the day, but it was appealing. We had a Lagaria Pino Grigio and it was tasty.

People Watching

Possibly fueled by the wine, we spotted some fashion disasters outside the restaurant window and entertained ourselves by commenting:

• Cowboy boots w/ short skirts – Unless you’re receiving a CMA, leave this look at home.
• Maxi dresses w/ running shoes – Where are your flip-flops or cute sandals, ma’am?
• Kardashian Klones -We were blinded by all that faux bling, tight lacy apparel and a shoe style that starts w/ “f.”
• Hair adornments – We even saw bitch clips, that old stand-by from the eighties you used to hold your big hair in place (in addition to your Paul Mitchell “Freeze and Shine” spray.)

Maybe it’s because I don’t have kids, but explain to me how it’s it possible for a cranky baby to hit that level of decibels in a restaurant w/o amplifiers? I don’t think it was just me because my friend has three kids and six grandchildren and she wanted to poke her own eye out w/ a fork. Mom walked baby around the restaurant, which wasn’t making the child any happier. She did calm down a bit when handed off to Dad. I bet that make moms really irritated when they do that.

Restoration (Black Amex Card) Hardware

As we left the restaurant, it started to pour so we ducked into Restoration Hardware. I’m not a shopper, but I do like me some RH stuff. Who doesn’t need a 6-foot high, folding office-in-a-metal-trunk? So cool. Maybe not for $8K. I don’t know if that’s the price, but I’m sure it’s not far off. Price tags were noticeably absent. To me, this usually translates to, “you better have that Black Amex on you.”

Since it was still raining, we settled into some fine leather couches. Attractive sales guys wearing headsets kept asking us questions. Haven’t seen that headset thing outside of Vickie’s Secret and those chicks scare me. But these guys were bored, so we must have been entertainment.

The girls wanted to head over to The Container Store, but I said I needed to go home and get some work done. But you know, I actually like that emporium of “stuff you don’t need, but have to buy.” People my age get off on that place – it’s kind of like a cool night spot for the over-50 set. Don’t judge. You know you’d like some brightly colored, stackable mesh storage cubes in 12 sizes…