Turkey Burgers in the Wild

As you know, because this is a food-focused blog, I often post a recipe. It’s usually something I made up. The Food Network is not knocking on my virtual door to star in my own show, so don’t get too excited, Foodies.

Grill Me

Last weekend, my excellent pal Sarah and I made some kick-a** turkey burgers. I believe they would have been less impressive had we not cooked them on the hardwood lump charcoal-fueled grill.

“He Who No Longer Inhabits” spent many $$$$ on gas grills, trying to replicate the heat and cooking potential of a restaurant kitchen. In pursuit of the “best burger ever,” it never happened. Yes, there were a few good specimens, but my little Weber is the bomb. Fruit even tastes great grilled on it.

Stuffed Turkey Burgers

1 1/2 lbs. ground turkey

1/2 lb. ground pork (I added this because turkey is too lean for grilling, IMO.)

1/2 Vidalia onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced

Pepper Jack cheese, sliced from a brick, about 1/4 ” thick

Good buns (heh, heh) I wanted to use pretzel buns, but store didn’t have them.

Cilantro mayo (recipe follows)

Mix turkey, pork, onion and garlic. (Sarah volunteered to do this fun part.) Form eight patties. On four of them, place two slices of cheese. Put the four remaining patties on top of cheese and pinch lightly to seal. We popped them in the freezer to keep the cheese from melting too quickly on the grill.

While they were grilling, we made up a mayo.

Cilantro/Lime Mayo

1 bunch of cilantro, finely chopped (I have a ton in my herb bed if you want some.)

Up to 2 T. fresh squeezed lime juice

Mayo, about 1/2 to 3/4 c.

Mix and let set up for a few minutes in fridge.

After burgers are done, let them rest a few minutes and spread mayo on top and bottom of buns.

Well, as happens every time I stuff a burger w/ cheese, it did melt out somewhat. But OMG, they were amazing! Even after eating a whole 1/2 pounder and being stuffed, I thought about those babies all night long. I sent one of the other burgers home w/ Sarah and I’m having my leftover one tonight.

They were cooked a bit on the medium side, but we were willing to risk trichinosis and plowed through them. Next time, I think I’ll make thinner patties and freeze the cheese slices separately before making them.

Let me know if you have a fave turkey burger recipe.

Dessert AGAIN? Okay, I’m In!

I recently returned from the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop. It was great to experience hands-on, career-building, professional guidance combined with personal enrichment and renewal. Oh yeah, there were also lots of really good desserts.

Were you expecting more info and insight about the writing profession aspects of the workshop? Sorry, I can’t stray too far away from my blog’s “brand.” I must be true to my vast readership.

Workshop Essentials

The workshop was a 3-day event which required some thoughtful planning. I packed some big-girl professional clothes, some favorite pens, my laptop, Kindle Fire (love!) and the trip essentials.

Other important stuff:

• Two bottles of wine – for hosting happy hour in my room or drinking alone (no comment)
• Pretzel Crisps – the “everything” type
• Granola bars – they always get squished in transit, but I eat them anyway
• Bottled water – those baby bottles at the Marriott don’t cut it

I attended the Erma workshop in 2008 (it’s held every two years, but I missed 2010 when my life blew up) and remember being impressed with the presenters and the food – not necessarily in that order.

They feed you constantly throughout the three days. Not just the usual meals, but snacks between sessions with real food like fruit and cookies. Then there were the desserts…

I’m a bit of a sweet freak and I bake so I’m critical of dessert offerings. Erma came through in this area. The carrot cake was a standout. But we also got spoiled. By lunch on Day Two, my new pal Geneva and I looked at the fruit on the table and said, “What? No dessert?” Seriously, how many of you normally have dessert AT LUNCH?

Lest you think that only one of my many personalities -Foodie, was present for this event, I’ll move on.

Laughs and Great Peeps

Contrary to popular belief, not all humor writers are funny in person. I met a lot of humor-inpaired folks over the weekend. But many times, (insert cliche here) I laughed till I cried. If you’ve been reading this blog, you know there hasn’t been much in my life to laugh about recently, so it was a welcome relief.

The majority of  people at this event were stellar. The keynote speakers and presenters were some of the best I’ve seen. But I also met some wonderful peers like Barb, Sheri, Cherie and David, the funny gastroenterologist (who knew?). I’ve already re-connected with some of them via the business cards we exchanged. I have a feeling these are keepers.

Pretzels Everywhere or is it Just Me?

Pretzel Logic might be my fave Steely Dan album, but then again, it might be Royal Scam. I digress...

I love pretzels in many forms. But they are appearing before me (not like in a vision or anything – that’s a whole different post) all the time. I just bought Everything Pretzel Thins, which are a different brand from Pretzel Slims. I bought Dark-Chocolate Covered Pretzel Slims recently at Trader Joe’s and they are as wonderful as they sound.

Let’s do a round-up of all my faves:

• Soft pretzels from Target’s “food court”
• Honey mustard pretzel bites
• Pretzel sticks
• Pretzel buns (OMG -these are amazing! You could put anything in these buns and it would be dreamy.)

Perhaps that’s enough pretzel talk for now. But please share your pretzel finds with me!

Networking

This is a poor segue, but the pretzel thing made me think of going to real functions like work-related, networking things back in the day. You know, the type where you tried not to drink too much bad white wine while balancing a crappy appetizer and simultaneously pulling out one of your biz cards to share with a potential client/employer.

We now do so much of this online instead of face-to-face. But a recent networking opp. reminded me of how it was to connect at these things. I also think we’ve become so used to online interaction that we’ve forgotten networking “etiquette.” Many people literally shoved their biz cards in my face before I even asked. How about chatting me up first?

But, hey it was good to get out of the house/grocery store/yard and go out “amongst them” as the Amish say.

Networking manners? Discuss!

Undersize Me…

I’m sure some people still drink at lunch and maybe even hit a joint occasionally, but sitting in an empty parking lot with a quarter-pounder was my recent MO. I had just been grocery shopping and as usual there wasn’t much edible lunch stuff in my bags. And behold – a  McD’s appeared before me like a vision and I fixated on a quarter-pounder.

Meal Deal

I decided to go for a “meal,” which I never do because I don’t want fries or big drink. But I was jonesing for those fries and to save some cash, I did the meal deal and asked for a medium iced tea. The counter worker said, “the medium and large are the same price.”  I told her I knew that but just wanted a medium drink. This conversation continued longer than expected and I assured her I was fine w/ the medium drink and would forgo the amazing savings.

Ambiance

There is not much ambiance in a Walgreen’s parking lot, but I live 20 miles from this McD’s and we all know that hot fries have a 6 minute shelf life before becoming inedible. So I pulled into a nearby empty lot and ate lunch. Something about it felt creepy and sneaky – kind of like I was being bad. Oh yeah, I need another reminder to get a life…

Healthier Choices

I did buy some food at the store including fresh halibut that was $17.99/lb. The piece I chose was $6.53. I also bought some fruit to balance out the salt and fat from the fast food fest. Wine has fruit, too, right?

Are chocolate-centered peanut butter thumbprint cookies healthy?

Zombies in the Ethnic Aisle

I haven’t spent much time at the grocery store lately. Still on my austerity program, trying to use up everything in the house. But you can only eat kosher hot dogs and shredded cheese for so many days in a row.

So, I had to pick up a few things. But bear with me while I rant a bit about fellow grocery shoppers. What is it about grocery shopping that turns some people into zombies with lobotomies (they mover slower than plain zombies)? I particularly notice this in the “Ethnic” aisle – the one with exotic items like pasta and canned tomatoes. I encounter two types:

• People who can’t drive those monstrous kiddie carts. Those things scare me more than an 18-wheeler driver on speed. The kids always look miserable, BTW. Maybe they realize their parent sucks at driving.
• People who look like they’ve had one too many doses of Thorazine (a tranquilizer drug used on psychiatric patients in the “snake pit” days.)

Admittedly, I hate shopping and have become really cranky with age, so I’m not very tolerant. But, hey, be aware and move your a– and cart out of the middle of the aisle!

Okay, rant over. What did I buy?

• Wine – I also got a foofy lemony liquor that will need to be locked up away from my reach. It’s too tasty.
• Assorted dairy items – I bought both heavy cream AND fat-free creamer. It’s almost homemade ice cream season. That’s my excuse for the fat stuff.
• Asparagus – If I had to pick one vegetable to live on, this would be it. I drizzle olive oil on it, broil it and sprinkle Parm on it when it comes out.
• Paper crap – See previous post “Too Bad TP & Paper Products Aren’t Edible.”
• Some other stuff I can’t remember.

If you see me at the Giant Eagle, don’t rear-end me w/ your cart. I might go all postal on you.

Let’s Write Off March 2012

I’ve missed a month and a half of posting on here. Let’s just say March was a bad one in the Hall of Fame of bad ones. Although this blog’s topics relate to single people’s grocery shopping habits, food, wine and the newly-single “adventure,” I’m going to head OT on this one.

In the earlier part of March, one of my best friends was diagnosed with a life-threatening disease. This is a friend (her hubs, too) of close to 30 years. I still can’t get my head around this new information, but I’m refusing to allow any negative thoughts to come into my brain about outcomes. She’s the best and she’ll be okay. That’s what I’m going with.

My other best friend and soul mate, Bokhara, who I’ve talked about often on here, had a routine exam earlier in the month which led to some testing with a somewhat favorable outcome. But on March 19th after a run of very good days, he had to be put to sleep. He was tired and it was time. I’m so grateful I had him in my life for 16 1/2 years. He was a gift.

Needless to say, a trip down the cat food aisle at the grocery store made my heart gasp. And because Brie and wild salmon were his faves, it’ll be a while before I can eat those again.

So readers, please hold good thoughts and prayers for my two friends that they have peace, light and comfort on their roads ahead.

Too Bad TP & Paper Towels Aren’t Edible

I held out as long as I could before going to the grocery store. The list was long and I knew I’d be spending some bucks. But $146? I was out of almost all paper products and other useless non-food or drink items. It struck me when I got home and unloaded that it’s a shame toilet paper and paper towels aren’t edible. If they make these things biodegradable, why not make them tasty? You could make a wrap with a couple of sheets of Bounty and deli goodies. TP could be used in baklava instead of those skinny layers of pastry dough.

One Square Per

That reminds me of something Sheryl Crow said on Oprah (or maybe it was Madonna since it sounds like her). Sheryl said that there was no reason anyone should use more than ONE square of toilet paper at a time. Seriously. Who could make that up? That’s about the time I stopped watching Oprah (that and the Dr. Phil phase).

Here’s what else I bought:

• cat food – of course, HRH was tired of the selection in the 24-pack so I had to mix it up
• asparagus- (which I douse w/ some olive oil, salt and pepper and put under the broiler. Try it w/ some grated Parm when it comes out.)
• coho salmon – I know the farm-raised stuff is cheaper, but this is so much better for an extra $2/lb.
• white and red wine - It’s tax season, need I say more?
• afore-mentioned paper goods + foil
• yogurt – Again, I have to wonder about that fruit on the bottom thing??
• pastrami – not the good kind. This is some store-brand formed product w/ pastrami essence. Hey, it was on sale.
• olives – I may devote a whole post to olives soon. I have avoided the olive bar lately because they’re pricey. I probably could live on olives, cheese and wine. LOVE!
• mayo – realized mine was dated 11/15/11.
• chocolate – bought Scharffen Berger because I’m going to make a foofy chocolate dessert for friends next weekend. If you bake w/ chocolate, you NEED this. Forget that brand that starts w/ “g.” Trust me, I may not cook much, but I make some mean desserts.
• more stuff I can’t remember – but not meal-worthy fare

Hey, weigh in on that TP thing. One square??

Purple Leopards and Chemex Paraphernalia

I posted last week about my adventure into a higher level of coffee-snobbery. As a quick follow-up before returning to foodstuffs, I had to order a new coffee grinder for the Chemex. My old one wasn’t cutting it – literally. The grind was too uneven and it caused the Chemex too much anxiety. Let’s put it this way, if you bought this coffee maker something for Valentine’s Day, it better be from Tiffany’s. It likes nice things. So, a burr coffee grinder is en route.

Creative Leftovers

I’m still on my austerity, lower-the-food-budget program and trying to be good about using up what’s in the house. I am feeling a little cheese-challenged as I’ve been out of blue and Brie for too long. But I did make another apple pizza with the last of the Gorgonzola and feta. It’s my new fave tasty.

Online Bargains

Maybe because I’m feeling deprived of gourmet cheese and treats, I’ve been shopping online for bargains. The best score so far is my Vera Wang p.j.s from Kohl’s. You have to see a visual to fully appreciate this find.

Are they not fabulous? That’s the pocket on the top. Okay, normally I wouldn’t choose purple and blue faux leopard clothing items, but it was the last color available in my size. Originally $50 (I know!), I got them for $20. The material is kind of a shag fleece.

When it warms up, I might sit out on my porch in these babies. Out here in the country, there are no fashion police so it’s cool.

Am I in the Chemex Cult Now?

I will confess to being a coffee snob. I order whole beans from exotic locales and yes, I can tell the difference between these and Grocery Store Brand. I don’t like Starbucks coffee at all unless it’s disguised under mocha, caramel or foofed up cream. That’s how snobby I am.

So in my quest for even better-tasting coffee, I bought a Chemex coffee maker. Now, if you don’t know it, you might think this is some commercial-grade model that costs roughly that of a Lamborghini’s monthly payment. Nah, this is the most basic coffee device – an open hourglass-shaped glass carafe thingy. I got the six-cup model. It was $36.00 on Amazon. But then things got complicated…

Because The Chemex wants certain things:

• Expensive, oxygenated squares-that-turn-into-a-cone filters
• A burr-type coffee grinder (these suckers can run over $200!)
• Coffee ground exactly right (not too fine!)
• Filtered or spring water (sorry, my water-softened well water will have to do).

So far, I’ve only succumbed to the fancy filters.

Demo Videos

In my research on this baby, I’ve run into a zillion how-to videos. Everyone wants to stand in their kitchen and exhaustively explain how to make coffee in the Chemex. I’ll spare you. Smart chick that I am, I figured it out w/o viewing too many of these.

Amazing Coffee

I have to admit, this simple device makes an amazing cup of coffee. Not bitter at all, just flavorful. I’m a cream freak and I don’t even need to add it.

The Cult Influence

Another confession – I shopped online for a burr coffee grinder. I found one for less than $50. I was tempted, but then I stopped myself before being thoroughly brainwashed. It’s just coffee after all…

Although I’ve avoided indoctrination into Chemex Nirvana, I did order $40 worth of coffee for my new buddy.

Are Apples the New Pepperoni?

Ha, that title will reel them in! I just made the apple/gorgonzola pizza I said I was going to make Super Bowl Sun. Nothing will replace pepperoni, but this pizza did turn out pretty cool and tasty.

I have to give a nod to Southern Living because the original recipe is from their Nov. issue. It was in the “I’m so sick of turkey, what can I eat?” section of the mag. I changed it up to include stuff I had on hand.

I used a Boboli whole wheat pre-made crust. “He Who No Longer Inhabits” (heh – sounds like Voldemort) used to foof over the crust and make his own. Not me.  Here’s the rest of the goods:

• 1 granny smith apple (I used another type), sliced thin
• 1/2 c. thinly sliced red onion
• 2 T. olive oil
• 1/3 c. fig jam (I used Trader Joe’s Fig Butter, which surprisingly has no fat.)
• 4 oz. of gorgonzola (the recipe used goat cheese, but I mixed feta w/ the blue because that’s what I had and I wanted more of a salty taste.)
• Sprinkle of Italian shredded cheese blend
• 1/3 c. toasted chopped pecans
• 1-2 cups arugula
• Salad dressing of your choice (I used my own balsamic vinaigrette.)

Saute apple and onion in olive oil until soft and a bit browned. Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Spread fig jam on crust and top with apples and onion. Sprinkle cheese over apples. Bake 8-10 minutes or until cheese has slightly melted. Sprinkle pecans over the top.  Let cool a minute. Toss arugula w/ a little salad dressing. You don’t have to use dressing, but I wanted a salad-type topping. You can serve w/ the arugula on top of pizza or I put it on the side.

(Not my pizza – too busy eating it to grab a camera.)

It was really good. The salty feta and gorgonzola balanced out the sweet apples and jam. I’m going to do some other variations of this pizza, too. A friend once served a fig and olive tapenade w/ goat cheese. I’m going hunting for that baby. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Oh yeah, serve w/ a red table wine, a bold white or something fancy. I had a Spanish Jumilla w/ it – a bit on the pricey side for me – it was $12.99, but it was worth it. Bon Appetit!